There's this colleague of mine, and maybe some other friends also, popped this question to me a few times already: "So when are you going to look for a boyfriend?" Well, my mum's is more of an order: "It's time to look around already."
I always jokingly reply: "You ask God lah~" or "Ok, ok!"
Crushes happen. But it's only matter of time that the feeling is gone. I believe to really meet that special one is beyond my capability. Why would people use the word "find" in the first place? It's not like we can flip over the carpet to see if he's underneath, waiting for us to find him.
Honestly, I do long to find that person soon. But before that, I must really learn to put God first in everything in life, to remember to go to Him before to my him.
Another part of the answer is, I'm not sure if I am ready for this man. The said colleague told me that these days girls can take the first move, too. I am aware of this trend, but I'm not sure if I want this to happen, for now. I have grown very comfortable with being with myself that I am not sure if an intimate company is welcomed. I even have problem making time for my remaining two kick-boxing sessions, among other things I enjoy doing. Committing into a relationship is really a big issue, and time is only one of the things we have to sacrifice for each other.
But to explain these to my colleague is too much of a trouble. So I'd just tell him my bottom line:
If a guy thinks that I am worth it, he will come for me. If he doesn't think so, then he won't, and we don't waste each other's time. But if he thinks that I am worth it yet he does not have the gut to make the first move, then forget it. I won't give my hand to someone who doesn't dare to pursue his desire.
I thank God for blessing me with contented life being single while waiting to meet this man, one day :)
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