Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Unnecessary labeling

It's ok if a guy goes after a girl but receives rejection because the girl is not interested with him. But if a Chinese girl rejects the love from an Indian guy that means she is narrow-minded, racist, old-fashioned and the like. It's ok if the girl continues to avoid the guy after rejecting him. But if the admiration was from someone with same gender, the avoider is a homophobic.
Why can't we understand the lack of interest and awkwardness which leads to the avoidance as they are?

If an anti-Bersih rally article published by the mainstream media, it is called bias and unjust. If the mainstream media is pro-Bersih rally, that means it is trustworthy.
Mainstream media doesn't always say things the customers want to hear. But if one day the mainstream media becomes the "alternative" media, their unfavorable and opposing views are still important - as important as the current alternative media.

If a Muslim killed a handful of people, it's an Islamic extremist terror. If a Christian killed a handful of people, it's called a shooting spree.
If all religions have their share of followers who misrepresented their faith, why is it relevant to label criminals like this?

If a Chinese writes about the lazy Malays it's called racism. If the article is published under a Malay name it calls for repentance.
Why can't we analyse what was written without looking at the identity of the writers?

If Christians vote for Kris Allen, he won the American Idol title because of the Christians vote. And the Christians like Kris Allen simply because he is a Christian. But if non-Christians vote for Kris Allen that means they're fair. Likewise for homosexual voters and Adam Lambert.
Why can't we appreciate at the size of support without looking at the identity of the supporters?

If a Christian leader attends a non-Christian religious function that means he does not discriminate other religions. If a Christian leader attend a Christian function, that means he wants to make Malaysia a Christian country.

If an African American votes for Barack Obama that means his analysis is only skin-deep (pun intended). If a Caucasian American votes for Barack Obama that means he is not a racist.
Actually, a white man can still be a racist if he votes for a black man for the sole reason of the former wanting a black man to win. Any black man.

Why can't we just look at what has happened without labeling people with unrelated titles?

The worst is this:
If a profound Christian professor converts to Islam willingly the Muslims say no one can deny the truth because even a highly educated person with critical mind testifies that. The Christian does the same when a zealous Muslim or Buddhist converts to Christianity.

Since when does a religion need conversion of a certain individual to confirm its validity?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Text me!

I still love conversations via SMS.

Me: U know what, i'm in chef's place now. Mr.chef saw me&said to me: long time no see. Hahaha :D
Keh Len: Haha he missed u! Lol :)
Me: Hahaha!i bet he is!anyway,how r u doing,my dear? :) how's LI?just finished work?
Keh Len: Nah LI ended already. Doing some part time job during weekends :) got no juicy updates for me? Let me know when u make ur move lol
Me: Haha,no way,d biggest move i did was asked his name.His name is Ahmad&he extended his hand while he asked mine,hehe.but i doubt he'll rmber my name tho
Me: Btw,what part time job r u working as nw?hey,mayb u can take another part time at chef's place&feed me wt gossips about him everyday!haha
Keh Len: Some promoter job. Aaah so he has a name! Good good first ask name. Then ask to be friends. Then go on a date. Ur strategy not bad! :) go cher linn!
Me: Haaha,but i shall not make anymore moves until he does.i need to jual mahal sikit because the pasta i ate just now also quite mahal :p
Keh Len: Haha expensive but worth it lol. At least ure paying for ur sweet dreams tonight also! :)
Me: hope he at least asks me out in my dream,haha!so hw long will ur part time job last?as long as u like?r u coming to UKM IV next weekend?jst2c d kids :)
Keh Len: Yea i work any time i like. Haha see d kids? im so old already. Have plans this weekend but maybe we meet up next week or sth? Wanna catch up :)
Me: Sure.must meet up&catch up soon!Beatrice&Maggie were saying Subang ppl shld have an outing together some time :) u take care then.
Keh Len: Haha ure subang person now. Ok ok goodnight :) sweet dreams lol

With the invasion of Facebook and other social media, I find lesser people are into sending text messages with SMS anymore, let alone having a good conversation back and forth like that. Well, we still can send personal messages via those media and all, but it's just different to receive it as an SMS.

Sunday, July 17, 2011


One of the thing Sweeks asked us to reflect on during our daily 15 minutes reflection period is: How will my action influence the people around me/ What kind of impact does my action bring to the people around me?

It is indeed a very important question. From the things we say, the way we say things to little actions that leave certain feeling in people's heart, it all matters.

For Sweeks, what he did over the weekend for the debating team has made me not only look forward to the coming UKM IV during the weekend. It actually makes me look forward to my 4 days working days prior to the tournament as well. I don't just see them as they are just 4 more working days to endure, but 4 more days to live and hope to bring little change, little warmth and little inspiration to wherever I go or to whoever I be with.

I am drained and tired after the training camp. I have not been having an intensive training camp for years. Even this time, I didn't receive the full blow of intensity under Sweek's round the clock debate and workshops schedule as compared to the juniors who had been there since Friday. Yet I feel exhausted nonetheless.

However, all is worthwhile. I brought home ideas and thoughts I've newly adopted.

And I also brought back Cher Linn, refreshed.

P/s: It's rare for me to have a hard time to fall sleep -even after a long day- on a reasonably comfortable bed. Normally I can sleep soundly once my head hit the pillow. Well, maybe because I didn't have a night light switched on for me on Saturday night in the hotel.

It's just ... weird.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Breath-taking innocence

I was at Sunday School this morning.

Teacher: So children, we know that the Bible says if you have Christ in your life, you are the salt of the world. But how about others who don't?
Kid: Then they are SUGAR!

Kids :)

Saturday, July 9, 2011

feel like traveling!

Don't you just love pictures of beautiful places? :)

Thursday, July 7, 2011


Saw this picture from a website shared by Shalisha. The related article is here. It says that these shelves can hold 10 tons of book!

Impressive, isn't it? ;-) But where do I put the lazy chair??

Monday, July 4, 2011

Ini Malaysia, kah?

I was again at the new mamak restaurant I spoke about in previous post.

Halfway through my Naan Pisang, there were commotion outside the shoplots. The workers of the restaurant stood still at the entrance of the restaurant, staring out, and even the passerby began to gather. I got curious and went to have a look, too.

There were men shouting at each other. A Chinese young man was pointing a big pen knife, with the knife pushed out, at another man. There were some other men quarreling at the background, too. A security was seen trying to separate the men and calm down whoever he could. The second man then ran across the street to my restaurant side and picked up a brick on the floor and pointed it at the Chinese man direction, too. Surprise how odd/ dangerous tools were there when you least wanted them to be. I was gripping my phone tightly. My instinct told me to call the police. But I was too panic that I didn't know what to say if I did make the call. So I watched on.

The Chinese man was not threatened by the brick. In fact, he ran over to our side also, and his following shouting became loud and clear, hammering into my head, and cut my heart.

"Ini Malaysia! Ini Malaysia!"

For that moment, I stared at the Chinese man who was so mad that veins were seen bulging at his temple. There must have been something horrible happened between them, which I had no idea about. The foreigner must have felt wrongly judged, too, that's why he was (or had the audacity to be) equally pissed.

With that phrase ringing loudly in my ear, that moment was the loneliest time I have in Subang, despite the fact that I've been pretty lonely during most of the days since I've moved here. I felt what little joy left in me was sucked out by that heart-piercing statement.

Since I moved here, I tried very hard not to breathe a word about my loneliness which is depressing me, and focus on the little joy I have. But 9 months is quite unbearable for me now.

I screamed in my heart: I am a Malaysian too! But I feel like a foreigner none the less.

After a while, I went back to my Naan Pisang. And Teh Ais kurang manis. I almost cried over my dinner.

My Naan Pisang was prepared by a Bangladeshi.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Lost Soul

I just came back from a debate tournament over the weekend. The decision to join them was made on Friday night right before I headed to bed. On Saturday morning, I dressed up to work as usual, brought an extra pen with me, and off I went to IMU right after my work.

It's always amazing how comforting it is by just being around with debaters. I didn't know many of the participants in this particular tournament. As usual, being an independent adjudicator, it is still quite lonely sometimes. But the bright side is you are more approachable and free to mingle around if you want to. So I have a bit of both sides. I spent enough time being alone to finish a story or two by Roald Dahl and half a copy of newspaper. And I met some old friends for warm catching-up. I also got to know some new friendly people, and genuinely enjoyed their company all along.

I suppose the free meal I had during my time in tournament is suffice to comfort me for forking out taxi fee to get to IMU immediately after work, and early in the morning on Sunday for their rounds. But Omar's inspiring speech during the prize giving ceremony worth more than what I've paid for to go there. There are just times we need people to look into our eyes and tell us that we need to get back our passion for persuasive speaking skill. In general, it may not necessarily be about debating. Yet living with passion for the things you hold dearly probably is the way to avoid us being alive but merely existing.

I find debaters to be a more comfortable crowd to be with, too, than those judgmental, self-justified, holier-than-thou Christians whom you meet in church every Sunday. Sometimes I even find debaters to be more understanding than fellow Christians. Of course, it is unfair to apply this to all debaters and Christians. Still, debaters listen to both sides of the story and are curious about the background of an opinion. It makes you dare to ask questions and speak boldly for something you stand for. While in the church setting, most are just too afraid to rock the boat than rebuking when necessary.

I felt the sincere concern from Shaq when he asked me about my new job in Subang. And I appreciate him going into details about his chambering experience. I appreciate Omar for spending his time explaining his non-debate-related plan for near future. I felt like that was the most meaningful 5 minutes spent listening. I do not feel the same level of warmth coming from most of my churchmates whom I meet every Sunday. However, some aunties are really nice to me. They invited me to their house for good quality time on Sunday afternoon and allowed me to hitch a ride with them to and fro church. But the young people in my cell group are not necessarily so. The conversations we had every Sunday morning during refreshment were really superficial - I need to balance between getting to know them better without sounding too busybody. Someone warned me about them being cliquey before I joined them. I dismissed the idea altogether because I didn't know them by then. But now I am facing the full blow of the reality.

You may say that it's unfair to compare the church members whom I only know for 8 months to the debating friends whom I've known for years. I tried to convince myself this way, too, that relationship takes time to build and etc. But it's hard to keep telling myself this when I realise the new African friends I made this weekend would be my choice of company over any church friends I can think of right now to just sit down and say nothing.

It's the right kind of people that I miss. Subang is still the place I dislike the most because there isn't a soul I can just sit down and watch time pass and feel really contented at the same time. I still feel like a foreigner among the people who ask you "How are you" every Sunday.

A week ago I was at the verge of consulting a psychiatry for suspected depression. I do not use the term depression lightly. I only began to consider this possibility when I realise the emotion has dragged on for months. What make it worst is the show I have to put up on every Sunday morning, in front of people who barely bother to build their side of the bridge in this relationship.