In case you're wondering, I'm not doing very fine. Work has been challenging as expected. Stress level has been increasing, too. What makes it worse is that my stress level is not only influenced by my own performance, but by my work environment as well.
I am glad of the fellowship time I enjoy with my new church members. And my newly signed up kick-boxing sessions. But that's beyond work. If I can achieve satisfaction at work, then only I'd call it a fruitful life. Because I am passionated to work in this field that I'm finally back in, at a prestigious hospital that awes me every time I look at the tests we run.
I have been praying for adaptation and work performance ever since before I started to work here. God has been keeping an eye on me, too. But I guess there are things in life that we just cannot rush for result, no matter how badly you wish you could. There are path we have to walk through, no matter how you've asked God if He could take that bitter cup of drink from your lips.
Then, what makes a bigger impact, is the attitude factor. The second most junior colleague in my department has been working there for 3 years. He can tell what tissue it is by looking at the paraffin block or stained slides (without looking through the microscopes yet). He can differentiate 0.8cm from 0.5cm. He knows exactly how hot 65 degree Celsius is with his finger tips. He modifies the standard staining schedule to produce better staining results, with his gut feelings. He, has the most admirable attitude that I want to follow. And of course, the other veterans have experiences beyond what a book can hold. They have the passion for what they're doing everyday, even if they've been working there for more than 14 years.
What lies ahead of me is an uphill climb. This is the right mountain I want to climb, after giving up the less challenging hill. In fact, challenge is what I was looking for as I decided to switch to this job. Lord, without strength from You, I am unable to do anything. May you grant me mercy and grace as I work hard to perform. If this is the purpose You have in me that You want me to pursue, may You bless me with favour and wisdom to glorify Your name with my humble self. Along the way, may you mold me to be a better person whom You want me to become, too.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
p/s: Please keep me in prayer. These days I've been under stress that at times makes me feel like puking for no reason. Thanks.
2 comments:
cher, 1st thing u gotta rmb is that everyone started out like u did s well. even for ur 2nd most junior colleague, 3 years ago he was feeling the same way u are now. stressed, awed at other's skills etc. but thr was a reason u passed the interview n was taken for this job, bcz they recognised ur passion and that u're trustworthy and reliable and u had the spirit to self improve and work hard even though its bn some time u left labwork after graduating. 2nd, being able to recognise tissue samples and temperatures and all that takes experience. even the most learned person cant get it from books. even experienced doctors take 4 years of specialist training to bcome a pathologist. so dun kill urself bcz u sun possess these skills as much as ur colleagues as yet. give urself allowance of some time to gradually learn. sometimes the workplace is also a place of apprenticeship. i dun tink ur colleagues expect the newly entered you to be an expert as yet but for u to learn from them as well. dts my opinion at least, lk how junior dr.s learn by experience from the seniors even whn on the job. 3rd, ur fire to excel in ur work is awesome! but dun beat urself up bcz u're not yet an expert. u wil be! with time. n in less than 3 years i'm sure u'll be develping cher linn's techniques in some procedure as well :P on top of that, yeah stay strong cher. God is with u, always. esp in storms of stress.
Vin, thanks for the encouragement and reminder. Beat was telling me the same thing, too, that God is always with me. I'm feeling better now, thanks :) Catch up soon! After your exams or something =)
Post a Comment