Before I go into the main point, here is a brief historical background of riding shotgun [Wikipedia]: The expression was applied originally to the movie depiction of stagecoaches and wagons in the Wild West, in danger of being robbed or attacked. An employee or passenger would sit beside the driver, carrying a shotgun r rifle, to provide an armed response in case of threat to the cargo or passengers.
Then I stumbled upon this site about Shotgun Rules. I was flabbergasted at how people would actually race each other for front passenger seat (and even their preferred passengers seats at the back, too)! All this while I thought I'm the only odd one out who loves shotgun seat very much. Of course, that position brings one certain privileges and duties as well, which he or she must fulfill to avoid being robbed off the fengshui seat. An interesting note, the trunk is also called "ex-wife" in some region in America. Haha ;-)
It's quite a long list of rules but I picked a few which I find interesting or amusing.
Section I - General Rules
1) The first person to yell "SHOTGUN" gets to ride in the front seat.
2) The remaining back seats may be divvied up in the same manner by being the first to call "back right seat", etc..
3) The word "shotgun" must be loud enough to be heard by at least one witness. If no witness is to be found, or in case of a tie, the driver has the final word. After all, it is most likely his car. (note: if it isn't his car, and the owner is present, the owner's decision is final. Owner must be sober, however, or he will defer his judgment to the driver.)
4) Early calls are strictly prohibited. All occupants of the vehicle (including the driver) must be outside of the building and directly on the way to the vehicle before shotgun may be called. Under no circumstances may a person call shotgun inside a building. For sake of simplicity, a garage is considered to be outside. Parking structures and detached garages are always considered as being outdoors, even if they are underground.
5) A person may only call shotgun for one way of a trip. Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle or still technically on the way to the first location. For example, one can not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey.6) Being as how everyone is created equal, men have the same right as women to the front seat of the car. i.e. women don't own the front seat.
7) One is allowed to ride shotgun as many times as he can call it, but for himself only. No one can call shotgun for their slower friend, unless the friend has a speech or mental handicap that prevents them from calling it for themselves.
8) The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The driver has the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or more persons.
1) The first person to yell "SHOTGUN" gets to ride in the front seat.
2) The remaining back seats may be divvied up in the same manner by being the first to call "back right seat", etc..
3) The word "shotgun" must be loud enough to be heard by at least one witness. If no witness is to be found, or in case of a tie, the driver has the final word. After all, it is most likely his car. (note: if it isn't his car, and the owner is present, the owner's decision is final. Owner must be sober, however, or he will defer his judgment to the driver.)
4) Early calls are strictly prohibited. All occupants of the vehicle (including the driver) must be outside of the building and directly on the way to the vehicle before shotgun may be called. Under no circumstances may a person call shotgun inside a building. For sake of simplicity, a garage is considered to be outside. Parking structures and detached garages are always considered as being outdoors, even if they are underground.
5) A person may only call shotgun for one way of a trip. Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle or still technically on the way to the first location. For example, one can not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey.6) Being as how everyone is created equal, men have the same right as women to the front seat of the car. i.e. women don't own the front seat.
7) One is allowed to ride shotgun as many times as he can call it, but for himself only. No one can call shotgun for their slower friend, unless the friend has a speech or mental handicap that prevents them from calling it for themselves.
8) The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The driver has the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or more persons.
Section II - Special Cases
These special exceptions to the rules above should be considered in the order presented; the case listed first will take precedence over any of the cases beneath it, when applicable.
1) In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun.
2) If the instance that the person who actually owns the vehicle is not driving, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.
3) In the instance the driver's spouse, lover, partner, or hired prostitute for the evening is going to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.
4) In the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill during the course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she will toss their cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun to make appropriate use of the window.
5) In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given location and this person is not the driver, then as the designated navigator for the group they automatically get Shotgun, unless they decline.
6) In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall to fit comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and award Shotgun to the genetic misfit. Alternatively, the driver and other passengers may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a three hour trip with him crammed in the back.
These special exceptions to the rules above should be considered in the order presented; the case listed first will take precedence over any of the cases beneath it, when applicable.
1) In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun.
2) If the instance that the person who actually owns the vehicle is not driving, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.
3) In the instance the driver's spouse, lover, partner, or hired prostitute for the evening is going to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.
4) In the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill during the course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she will toss their cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun to make appropriate use of the window.
5) In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given location and this person is not the driver, then as the designated navigator for the group they automatically get Shotgun, unless they decline.
6) In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall to fit comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and award Shotgun to the genetic misfit. Alternatively, the driver and other passengers may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a three hour trip with him crammed in the back.
Section III - The Survival Of The Fittest Rules (a.k.a The Bastard Rules)
1) If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Survival Of The Fittest Rules on the process of calling Shotgun. In this case all rules, excepting 1.8, are suspended and the passenger seat is occupied by whoever can take it by force.
2) The driver must announce the institution of the Survival Of The Fittest Rules with reasonable warning to all passengers. This clause reduces the amount of blood lost by passengers and the damage done to the vehicle.
3) Please follow the above rules to the best of your ability. If there are any arguments or exceptions not covered in these rules, please refer to rule 1.8.
1) If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Survival Of The Fittest Rules on the process of calling Shotgun. In this case all rules, excepting 1.8, are suspended and the passenger seat is occupied by whoever can take it by force.
2) The driver must announce the institution of the Survival Of The Fittest Rules with reasonable warning to all passengers. This clause reduces the amount of blood lost by passengers and the damage done to the vehicle.
3) Please follow the above rules to the best of your ability. If there are any arguments or exceptions not covered in these rules, please refer to rule 1.8.
Section IV - Revisions
1) These rules shall be subject to either revision or amendment at any time. But, changes and new rules you create during a car ride do not take effect until the next car ride.
2) Since there is an established body currently in place to distribute world-wide information, it is proposed that the United Nations (lol) oversee the adoption, updates (as required) and enforcement of these rules once adopted by at least two-thirds of the current membership of the UN.
3) It shall be the responsibility of all drivers to have a current copy of these rules in the vehicle's glove compartment, so that disputes may be resolved.
1) These rules shall be subject to either revision or amendment at any time. But, changes and new rules you create during a car ride do not take effect until the next car ride.
2) Since there is an established body currently in place to distribute world-wide information, it is proposed that the United Nations (lol) oversee the adoption, updates (as required) and enforcement of these rules once adopted by at least two-thirds of the current membership of the UN.
3) It shall be the responsibility of all drivers to have a current copy of these rules in the vehicle's glove compartment, so that disputes may be resolved.
And I actually laughed out loud reading the following:
If the vehicle is forced to stop for a serious infraction of the Shotgunner, the Shotgunner must relinquish his/her seat, if the driver so wishes.
Serious infractions have been known to include spilling alcoholic beverages, spilling any beverage, being annoying, breaking parts of the car, and in extreme cases, just being ugly.
Amendment VII: Navigator
The passenger who has shotgun MUST serve as Navigator. By this, he must watch out for signs and intersections that the driver may miss during the course of a road trip. The Navigator must also ask for directions out the window.
It is also the responsibility of the passenger who has shotgun to take control of the radio and air conditioning, however the driver has final say over the settings. The other occupants of the car can also have an opinion. If the passenger with shotgun is caught forgetting their duties and makes the car listen to commercials and/or bad music, then his privilege can be lost. Of course, this is all in good judgement of the driver. As Navigator, the driver may also ask him to operate other devices such as the windshield wipers, and rear window defroster.
It is also the job of the Navigator throw all trash and empty beer bottles out of the window. The beer bottles must be crushed under the tires to destroy all evidence, in case of an emergency situation.
In addition, the Navigator must possess the ability and the will to insult other drivers and be heard, only if they deserve it (ie: being cut off). This is to allow the driver to continue to operate the vehicle properly.
The Navigator must possess the ability (and the will) to roll down their window and invite any chicks in adjacent cars to the driver's destination.
:)
1 comment:
hilarious!!! :D :D :D :D
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