Taking off again

i gave Jun Hoe a call before he flies off on Sat morning.

Me: Annddd, don't forget to buy souvenirs, of course! :D
Jun Hoe: Haha, ok! What do you want from Scotland?
Me: Hmm.. I don't know. What is special in Scotland? Oh, I don't want key chain anymore, I've had plenty of them.
Jun Hoe: Maybe you need more keys to hang in those key chains.
Me: Yeah, wait till I can afford to buy some cars and houses for them, hehe.
Me: Oh, I know! Maybe you can buy me chocolates! But I don't want white chocolate. It can be milk chocolate, or even better, dark chocolate! :)
Jun Hoe: Or I should buy you chocolate that is shaped like a key chain.
Me: Hahahah =.=

Silly conversation. Silly.
Just bring yourself back, safe.

Conversation on a flat screen

Conversation in Viber.

Me: Hi
Hamoodi: Hi
Me: What you doing? :)
Hamoodi: On my laptop.
Hamoodi: And you?
Me: On my iPad :) lol
Hamoodi: Good
Hamoodi: :)
Hamoodi: So why you are come early today?
Me: Today is Saturday.
Me: I only work half day on Saturdays.

I believe many can understand this simple conversation too, despite the fact that we did not use perfect English.

And thanks to the technology, housemates can stay in respective rooms to communicate with each other. To me, escaping from the need to climb the staircase is sufficient. Hahaha! And sometimes Viber is how we leave message to each other when either of us is not around or asleep.

Hamoodi: Hi
Hamoodi: Good morning
Hamoodi: I leave some bread on the table to you have breakfast :)

But of course, I'd still prefer face-to-face conversation if I'm given a choice.

Sand in the wind

I've never felt this tired holding on to a friendship. Lord please give me the strength to... move on.

We have been fighting a lot lately. We survived a big fight but the few smaller ones that followed could still destroy whatever we have. Wonder why things were easy during the first 3 months when we first knew each other, but roller coaster rides became more frequent lately.

Lord please give me wisdom to handle things between us. I admit I do behave childishly sometimes. But it is not that he has never done me wrong either. How can I let him see that forgiveness from both of us are important too?

It hurts so much to love. Love is patient, love is kind, it keeps no record of wrong and is not quick to anger. It is more difficult to stick to this definition of love when the other party doesn't know how many heart breaks I have to endure to still love him as he is. And he thinks he is the only victim.

Is Satan really going to win this time?

Bleed

You told me you could have spoken in English if you know English well.

But I think your English has improved very much. In fact, you don't have to stuggle to find words that best describe your anger or frustration.

Words that cut my heart.

So much of 'You're the first person in this house to introduce yourself and make friends with us!'

Tiger mum in the making

It's not easy to be a tiger mum. You know you'll be hated for being strict to your children. You want the best for them and you want them to perform the best. You wish you could really chill and let your children 'learn their own way' but it's harder to do so than being a tiger mum itself.

I wish I don't have to balance between our friendship and your performance. I could have gone all out and make you ace your exam and then never want to see me again.

But I care about our friendship, too. Our friendship is very precious to me. Please help me to have faith in us, that our friendship is strong enough to withstand challenges of conflicts.

Sign,
Beep beep :)

Favourite conversation

Me: Virtual pictionary was still quite fun because the players went crazy guessing the answers the same way we play real life pictionary. I was laughing in front of the screen when I couldn't make sense of someone's drawing, and later compared their drawings with the answer.
Vin: Lol!
Me: There was once I was asked to draw the word 'government' but I didn't know how to :(
Vin: It's ok, you could just draw them a guava :p

:)

Say what you mean

I think I have lost count of the life lessons I learn from Hamoodi. Here is another one. I can't believe there are moments of me being such a girl - the saying one thing but meaning another thing part.

Hamoodi: Why did you come to the camera shop with me?
Me: Because I want to learn photography!
Hamoodi: ... Not because of me?
Me: .... And also because of you.
Hamoodi: You don't have to say that if you don't want to.
Me: What do you mean by that?
Hamoodi: You don't care about me.
Me: What?! How could you say that? Of course I care about you!
Hamoodi: But you did it for your own benefit, not for me. You are selfish.
Me: Well, I said that because I don't want to sound like I am your hero, that you cannot communicate with people without me helping you.
Hamoodi: But I do need your help. Why couldn't you just say you went there to help me?
Me: Because I don't want you to feel like I am doing you a favour by going to the shop with you. I went with you not because I wanted to help you. But because I like to spend time with you, talk to you and stuff. I don't want you to thank me for that.
Hamoodi: But I did say 'thank you'.
Me: Exactly what I don't want you to do. I don't want you to feel like you owe me. So I lied. Fine, I am sorry. I should have told you that I went there because I cared about you, that I worried that the boss may not understand you the way I do. Do you really think that I like photography? If I like photography that much I could have bought my own camera and stuff.
Hamoodi: Then why didn't you just tell me this the first time I asked you?
Me: Because... *declared defeat* Because girls say things that they don't mean! You have to listen in between the words we say to get what we say.

To cut things short, we resolved our conflicts :) I am glad that we talk things out. Effective communication and attentive listening are very important in a relationship, any kind of relationship. The more a person means to us, the more reasons for us to communicate properly to ensure we stay the same page and understand each other better.

Can't wait!

Hamoodi: So we will be exchanging gifts on Christmas day, ya?
Me, totally puzzled: 'Exchanging' gift?
Hamoodi: Yes, on the 25th! :)
Me: But I've given you your gift! Do you remember that gingerbread man?
Hamoodi: No, Christmas gift must only be given on Christmas day.
Me: =.=

I need to have a word with whoever comes up with this 'rule'. It's not the matter of shopping for Christmas gift (again). Friends who know me well will understand that it's always a torture for me to buy a gift and KEEP IT till a particular special day then only I get to give it to the recipient.

Christmas faster come! :)

Re-connect

I just read Sweek's blogpost about re-connecting with people. It reminds me of an incident happened recently which also reminded me on this issue.

There is a friend whom I become close with, and share a lot of concerns and secrets with, too. But we don't get to have long chats everyday, you see. Both of us are busy with our own life and having different group of friends doesn't help the situation.

There was once, I really wished to talk to someone about something happened that day. That friend of mine is an ideal candidate because he's known the background of the issue, I don't have to start all over about it. I went to him, but he was in the middle of something, and he asked me to wait. I told him that I only needed a little of his time. But I waited nonetheless.

When he was done, he came to me, as promised. He told me he didn't want to just give me 10 minutes to let me 'get it over with'. Because he needs me more than I need him. I didn't understand, so I listened.

Only then I realised there had been many things he wanted to tell me but was put on hold because we were both busy. And those were the things he didn't tell anyone - not his friends, not his roommate, not even to his family members (for some valid reasons). I guess the reason he only told me was similar, that he didn't have to start all over with the background and everything surrounding the issues, and the fact that I am a neutral third party that will not affect his social life because we have different group of friends.

The point here is, little did I know a pair of listening ears were needed. I thought I was a disturbance to him, to want to tell him things as vague as emotional feeling, my tensed and frustrating day at work, my dilemma, and so on, at the time he was busy, late at night. I re-learnt that a relationship needs effort from both (or more) friends to maintain it. If you don't have time, then MAKE time for each other, and really spend quality time with each other, not just 'touch and go', 'just to inform'. It shouldn't be just me dumping my issues to him and not expecting him to do the same, assuming his life is all rosy and smooth.

In the end, we talked to each other till 3am. Neither of us realised time passed so fast that we only had 4.5 hours left to sleep. But it was worth it. Burden was liften up. We were re-connected. And the best part was, this was not done virtually.

Face-to-face conversation is always the best, if we can afford it. The sad thing about current society is, even when we can enjoy the human touch for a conversation, we choose to bury our heads at phones and tablets and have conversation over the virtual world. Have you ever seen a group of friends, or even a family, sit around the dining table, not talking to each other but was busy with their gadgets in their hands? That's what I meant.

Of course I wish all my friends have life that is peaceful. But have I been sending silent message that I do not want people to come and talk to me about their trouble? I think I need to take the initiative to show that I do care for the people around me.

Things to ponder this Christmas

Last night, Hamoodi and Hemo had their friends come over for some home cook Arabic dinner. They started their cooking at 11:30PM. Neither of the above sentences is a lie :)

I was excited at this because
1. I got to taste Arabic food!
2. it was really impressive to watch 4 guys cook!

They let me help them to wash the rice. That's all. They did all the peeling and grating carrots, chopping beef, slicing tomatoes, squeezing lemon, washing, and the cooking of the sauce. I thought I was only going to observe how they cooked it and go to bed. But I couldn't sleep because I wondered about the end product. So I stayed up and waited with them. And in the end, I ate with them, at 3AM. What an experience!

As I was talking to Mahmoud, one of their friends, I realise that many of the impression we get from media about conservative Arabic countries are twisted. But I am not sure if they actually know what is written about them in those mainstream media, because they have relatively poor English. That is what worries me - if it is wrongly portrayed with intention, neither the subject nor reader will know. And that is probably why the gap between us is getting wider and mutual understanding seems like a fairy tale.

For example, women were not allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia (I think they recently passed a law to allow women to drive). It's actually a privilege for the women because they get to be chauffered around by the men. And as a son, if his mother asks him to drive her (sometimes the sisters may come along too) to shopping mall, they cannot say no to their mother. If their sister wants to go out but he is not free, she still has other brothers to go to. Generally they have big families. In some cases, even if the guys dislike going to shopping mall, they will still send the women there upon request, and the guys will stay in the car while waiting for the ladies to finish their shopping. Only a tiny percentage of women demanded for freedom to drive while the rest accepted the culture well.

They agree that their country gives little freedom to the people. But those restrictions are there for a good reason. Take alcoholism. Yes they don't have the freedom to drink. But they think it is a good ban to begin with. Because drinking alcohol is bad for health, not to mention it is ultimately a sin in their religion. Period.

I always thought Arabic countries will take their stand to help the Palestinians at anyway possible. I was wrong. It is easier for them to come to Malaysia than to travel to other Arab countries, he said. For some of them: Palestinians who were born and raised in Saudi Arabia are not considered as citizen in either country. First is because Palestine is not a recognised country so Palestine does not have 'citizens'. Second is because, well, the other Arab countries don't really welcome them. In Mahmoud's case, he gets to come to Malaysia with a passport he receives from Egyptian government with a blank space at the nationality column. And strange enough, even though the passport is from Egyptian government, the latter itself does not appprove the validity of the passport.

And about Taliban. Taliban is everywhere, he said. And the reason the Taliban will always exist because each of the member has lost their father or brother or son to the American soldiers. They're in to 'kill those who kill'. Say, if a village was bombed by the American soldiers and someone lost his father during the casualty, he will want to join the Taliban to fight back. And if he dies in the war, his brother will want to join the Taliban to revenge for his brother and father. And the US will add more troops because the Taliban is still there and kicking. It is a vicious cycle. If only forgiveness, reconciliation, mutual respect and understanding come easy for both parties.

It is something very relevant to ponder upon and pray about especially during this Christmas. Don't you think so?