Re-connect

I just read Sweek's blogpost about re-connecting with people. It reminds me of an incident happened recently which also reminded me on this issue.

There is a friend whom I become close with, and share a lot of concerns and secrets with, too. But we don't get to have long chats everyday, you see. Both of us are busy with our own life and having different group of friends doesn't help the situation.

There was once, I really wished to talk to someone about something happened that day. That friend of mine is an ideal candidate because he's known the background of the issue, I don't have to start all over about it. I went to him, but he was in the middle of something, and he asked me to wait. I told him that I only needed a little of his time. But I waited nonetheless.

When he was done, he came to me, as promised. He told me he didn't want to just give me 10 minutes to let me 'get it over with'. Because he needs me more than I need him. I didn't understand, so I listened.

Only then I realised there had been many things he wanted to tell me but was put on hold because we were both busy. And those were the things he didn't tell anyone - not his friends, not his roommate, not even to his family members (for some valid reasons). I guess the reason he only told me was similar, that he didn't have to start all over with the background and everything surrounding the issues, and the fact that I am a neutral third party that will not affect his social life because we have different group of friends.

The point here is, little did I know a pair of listening ears were needed. I thought I was a disturbance to him, to want to tell him things as vague as emotional feeling, my tensed and frustrating day at work, my dilemma, and so on, at the time he was busy, late at night. I re-learnt that a relationship needs effort from both (or more) friends to maintain it. If you don't have time, then MAKE time for each other, and really spend quality time with each other, not just 'touch and go', 'just to inform'. It shouldn't be just me dumping my issues to him and not expecting him to do the same, assuming his life is all rosy and smooth.

In the end, we talked to each other till 3am. Neither of us realised time passed so fast that we only had 4.5 hours left to sleep. But it was worth it. Burden was liften up. We were re-connected. And the best part was, this was not done virtually.

Face-to-face conversation is always the best, if we can afford it. The sad thing about current society is, even when we can enjoy the human touch for a conversation, we choose to bury our heads at phones and tablets and have conversation over the virtual world. Have you ever seen a group of friends, or even a family, sit around the dining table, not talking to each other but was busy with their gadgets in their hands? That's what I meant.

Of course I wish all my friends have life that is peaceful. But have I been sending silent message that I do not want people to come and talk to me about their trouble? I think I need to take the initiative to show that I do care for the people around me.