Past and present

5 years ago I posted a picture in my Facebook, and wrote a caption for it. Somehow it feels strange to read the said caption and ask: Did I really write something like this? 

I realise I have become such a boring and reserved person that I no longer make fun of myself.

If one day I'd totally forget myself, i wonder what would people tell me about myself to help me recall.

Have I been busy searching for myself that I actually lose myself?

Hold my hands or I'll shatter

After all the things I've done alone, all the heartbreaks that I have survived, I just wish I will not be alone when my doctor has to break a bad news to me in his office.

Because there are times I feel like I'm made of glass.

But I am an independent middle child.

Flu has started for a week before festive season of CNY. And period just started today. The combo gave me headache, and ache in body too. And feel exhausted. I want to just curl up in bed.

The weather is not kind either. It's very hot at night and when you finally want to dozz off, mosquitoes decide to sing to you the song of their people, right next to your ears.

I'm just too tired to do any chores either. So please don't judge me. I wonder if independence means surviving this alone. I can, can't I?

Oh, and they just had to come do fogging in my housing area this evening. I highly doubt if fogging actually works anymore. I came back to my "scented" room and saw 3 mosquitoes flying around. And that's only in my room.

Dread.