28min 56sec

I don't know what is it with you, or between us, that we can have such good conversation over the phone. I don't remember when was the last time I had such a long chat over the phone, and the conversation was pleasant and made me smile. We had to end our conversation because you received an incoming international call. We talked about serious stuff like health insurance, to petty stuff like moving into new rooms. We laughed. We talked slowly. We listened. Things have changed between us but I agree that it is for the better. Some people say couples don't remain as friends after they break up. It's either they were never into each other, or still are. I guess we are the former type then.

Fast and Pray

Today is the 33rd day of Fast and Pray for Nation program by NECF. I've been fasting from lunch for the past 31 days. I've lost 4kgs. But that's not the most important point here. I realise that our body is really amazing. I am surprise that despite this being the first time I commit to such a long duration lunch-fasting, my body didn't give me any problem with my daily routine. Of course, when you're only 25 years old, your body is still fairly flexible to adapt to changes. But if you know me well, I am the first person a dietition would give up talking into dieting for health reason. I cannot skip any meal and I have very low resistance to good food. Come on, I grew up in Malaysia! It took me about a week to decide which kind of fasting I want to be committed to, and if it is possible to sit down and pray in replace of the time spent doing such activilty in normal days. When I was considering lunch, my biggest concern would be me not meeting my colleagues up for lunch for the next 40 days. Can I not join them for lunch for so long yet still have them being close friends to me at work? Will I miss out a lot of their news and updates when I am not around them? Will I even find a quiet place in hospital to sit down and pray during my lunch break? However, it turned out that fasting from lunch is the best option. Because I get to insert a mid-day prayer session in my busy day. It is truly a -break- for me. When I have breakfast in the morning, I make conscious effort to pray for the food I eat to sustain me for the rest of the day till dinner time. And also to submit the day into God's hand with the breakfast He has provided me with. I am amazed to see how I manage to go through a day with usual portion of breakfast, without lunch, AND not feeling hungry! Of course, I am aware of the desire for food during lunch time. Because normally I do my prayer at coffee shop in my hospital. That's the only place I can find table and chair to sit down and write prayers. But well, I guess I can differentiate desire and need better now. Sometimes I do feel extra hungry during dinner. But it's still desire. Honestly sometimes I do eat more during dinner. But there are times I can be satisfied with only my usual portion of dinner, too. The 4kgs tell a lot about me not "Eating back" what I'v "lost", huh? I remember very well that during my first day of fasting during this time (I've tried fasting previously but it was only for a day), I still went for swimming right after work. And I didn't feel weak. Second day, I even thought I could go on without dinner too, haha. But well, I allow myself to just enjoy my dinner. Nonetheless, it amazes me at how far I could go, and how little we actually -need- to survive. And I feel good and more alert in the afternoon without lunch to digest in my stomach. I can concentrate better at work, not feeling sleepy or lazy. If I was not fasting but merely skipping meal, I'd be a really cranky person and experience hypoglycaemia starting from my lunch time. I think I've gotten use to this routine and I told my colleagues that I am considering to continue this fast and pray routine. Their reply upon hearing this was heart-warming: they told me they were counting down to the day I'm done with this fasting thing and can finally join them during lunch time, just like before :) One more thing I like about spending lunch time praying to God instead of with colleagues is that I get to catch up with God befor I get to catch up with my colleagues. Of course, I do enjoy the time I spend with them - that is why it was one of my concern mentioned above. But I can always catch up with them later, in the lab after lunch or something. If there are things left out, maybe they're just not that important to take note anyway. It reminds me that no matter what, go to Papa first before others. I also learn that this group of friends at work place really care for me because they have been really understanding about me choosing God over them. They have been supportive, and even made dinner plans instead of lunch for special outing because they know I am fasting from lunch. And despite the fact that I have not joined them for lunch for the past 31 days, they never forget to fill me in with important stuff they shared in the group. What else can I say about God's presence when you pray? :) Amazing stuff happens.

I'll never get it right, will I?

Butterfly

Oh I hate to do this in my blog but I just need to, right now. Stuuuupiiiidd hoorrrmmonnee! And I should really, really, just keep quiet. Ok, Cher Linn? Just be patient, ok? Gosh I really hate this. I hate how you make me relate to Uncle Kracker's Smile very well. I hate myself for not backing down when trials come between us - and there are so much of them that I am sure they're meant to break us apart. Why did I act stubbornly when I least needed to? It's a sickening feeling. Hope it's all because of my stupid hormone, and it'll be gone after everything's calmed down.